“Comes With Dad Rock”

Corporate Rock!

I read Dan Kennedy’s book titled “Rock On, How I Tried To Stop Caring About Music And Learn To Love Corporate Rock”. http://www.amazon.com/Rock-Office-Ballad-Dan-Kennedy/dp/1565125096

It’s the story of a 30 something music fan, a regular guy who went into advertising and then landed a marketing job at Atlantic Records. The author’s observations on the music business are funny.

For instance, the bit where he goes to a marketing meeting that’s been called together to check out the new video of a newly signed top priority band who the company boss vows “we will break no matter what - failure is not an option - these guys will be huge”. Our man’s view of the video, and I paraphrase from memory: “The video opens with a shot of a band that look like Pearl Jam, only ten years too late. It communicates this: we’re angry. We’re sexy. No wait, we’re… edgy. We get into the track and start longing for something. Then we’re back to being angry again. Now we look bored. Then we rock out and tell you that we’re feeling sooo good about being in this band, in this video. In fact, we’re feeling every possible emotion we think you want us to be feeling. But no matter what we’re feeling, we’re always rocking.”

No matter what we’re feeling, we’re always rocking….

The protagonist gets an assignment to write the copy for a full page ad for a Phil Collins compilation, something like “25 Years Of Love Songs”. Our man is floored. He thinks, I used to be cool, what happened? How can they ask me to write anything about Phil bloody Collins? After days of getting nothing done, just some poor puns based on Phil’s lyrics, he has an epiphany. Phil Collins has had a hugely successful career since the 70s in a tough business that eats people up. Do you think Phil is worried about pleasing his boss? You think he is worried about having a job? Phil does what Phil wants to do every single day of the week. What have I ever done? Who am I to say anything about Phil?

In the end Phil’s management call in to suggest a simple line that’s bang on and ends up in the ad.

Conspiracy Theories

I got an email from some metal band directing me to their myspace. As ever, I duly investigated. While I was waiting for the songs to load, I noticed a title something along the lines of “fuck off indie fags”.

Mirroring our ad man’s condescending view of Phil Collins, some people think there is a conspiracy in the music business to keep their meaningful and cool art undiscovered while Scouting For Girls get to be successful. It’s the same conspiracy that puts Rihanna on the radio instead of some other, more worthy music. The same conspiracy allows Duran Duran to sell out arenas nearly 30 years into their career.

Everyone knows it’s hard out there. In fact, by being there, wherever there is, I know personally just how hard it is. It’s good to look in the mirror and get outta the house every once in a while. Stop blaming others, indie fags or whoever, for your troubles. For one thing, homophobia is not a beautiful thing and secondly, there ain’t no conspiracy! The reason some artists are successful is that people like what they do and they work very hard for their success.

That some of them also suck Satan’s cock to get a little corporate help along the way is neither here nor here. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Lv2qLOiioPc

Baseball

Another cool book I’ve been reading is Money Ball by Michael Lewis. http://www.amazon.com/Moneyball-Art-Winning-Unfair-Game/dp/0393057658 

It charts the story of a baseball manager who invented a new way to scout for players. Instead of looking at potential and acting on gut feeling, which is/was the old way, he analyzed complex statistics about the players’ performances in countless high school and college games. After you digest all the terminology about slugging, walking and bunting, what it appears to boil down to is that there is a scientific way to gauge a player’s worth to the team, and that gut feeling and potential have fuck all to do with discovering who the future winners are.

In music this thing called belief has a lot of.. er.. believers. If we believe enough, things will happen. But what if there was a way to analyze statistics to figure out who the future stars will be. For starters, what would the statistics be? I suppose the number of gigs and rebookings a band gets, how many people turn up at their home town gigs, how many plays they get on myspace and how all that activity and all those plays are growing are some factual things to measure. Food for thought, I guess, guaranteed to keep you entertained for the duration of a bottle of semi-priced Rioja.

When Motley Crue were starting out they wore make-up, just like KISS who had by the early 80s made a spectacular fall from fashion. A&R guys dismissed the Crue saying “you can’t reinvent Kiss”. Yet, the band were constantly packing out clubs in LA. Someone came along and pointed out the obvious. These guys are really popular and kids want them. Sign ‘em up!

I had a conversation about the art world with someone who said that the best bet is to check out all the art school graduates at their graduation shows, ignore all of them and then revisit them in 2-3 years’ time. Those still in the game might well go on to do something special because they’re in it for real. Invest in those. The same is true is baseball where an insignificant percentage of high school stars make it to the big leagues, but a far bigger percentage of college players do.

Incidentally, the Brit Art movement has its roots in our studio complex. Damien Hirst used to have a studio there. Turns out he left a notebook of ideas and sketches amongst the rubble when he vacated the premises. The groundskeeper at the complex, threw it away. Ouch!

Good advice

I used to play baseball as a kid. In fact, recently we even bought gloves for the studio so we can go play catch in the car park, to get a break from the music. We haven’t played once, but the boys in Lost Aura www.myspace.com/lostaura , with whom we worked recently, sure did and effing spoiled our brand new baseball. We told them it was the ball Babe Ruth scored his last home run with, that we had bid loads for it on Ebay. They bought it. For about 5 seconds, they bought it!!!

My baseball coach had a great bit of advice for me. He said: “Ville, you gotta catch the ball before you throw it.”

Mat was a pitcher for his team. He was having a bad game once (just the once!) and started pitching all sorts of curveballs and whatnots. His coach yelled out to him: “Mat, what’s your best pitch?” Mat says: “The Fastball, Sir!”

Coach says: “Well, why don’t you throw that one, then.”

That’s good advice.

Radio

Artists who’ve been through The Animal Farm agricultural development process are having a successful week at radio. One Night Only are on R1, Jack McManus is on R2 and Rosalita are on XFM. Hooray!!

Indie Labels Get Connected

Mat and I went to Music Connect, an AIM sponsored event that connected indie labels with key players in the digital landscape. Lots of people with really mysterious sounding businesses that provide solutions across platforms, integrated approaches and global strategies were gathered on the banks of The Thames. Not outside. I mean, we were indoors. But the place overlooked the river.

My key emotion (whoa! what a phrase!) when listening to the chatter of the digital business classes was that the creation of music is the last thing on their minds. That’s not unforgivable. I mean, we make they music and they deliver it to millions around the world. But here’s the rub: to them the value of music is akin to the shit they stepped into when avoiding the vomit outside a pub.

These people say that makers of music are competing with free. As in, people - consumers - want free music. And because they want it, they should have it and the creators have to get with the program and find another way of monetising their art.

I don’t go out to get free music. I go out to get good music, music that I like. If it’s free, thanks, I’ll have it. If it costs me, I’ll pay the asking price. But I certainly wouldn’t get it just because it’s free. So, consumers don’t really want “free”. They want “good”. By emphasising the “free” we’re missing the point. By emphasising “free” the ISPs and the mobile operators and the ad funded guys are sidetracking the conversation for rather self-serving reasons. They are building very valuable businesses off the back of free music, the majors are scoring some big one-off home runs.

But none or very little of that money is getting to those whose created the music. Futhermore, it’s not all progressive thinking in the digital world. If at every turn you get an aggregator who gets his 15-20% it will be like the bad old days of publishing. No need to revisit the bad old days.

I’ve grown increasingly convinced that it’s mostly a propaganda battle. Music people have to wrestle the initiative back.

This is how fast the discussion is being driven: these people are now saying that selling mp3s a la carte, like Itunes do, is soooo old hat. That the new model is free music in exchange for ads. The purveyors of this new model say that it’s not completely unclear as to whether or not people like those ads. Eh? To me it’s perfectly bloody obvious that we don’t want them.

Who the hell would want to further erode their private personal space with marketing messages? Would you want to do that to your fans?

When practically nothing in this world is free, what is the special status, or lack thereof, of music here? I propose that water is free! Hell, we need it way more than music.

The famous Gerd Leonhard idea about music being free like water. http://gerdleonhard.typepad.com/the_future_of_music/2005/01/music_like_wate.html 

I actually think that his idea is really good, but I pay about £200 per year for my water rates. It’s not free and it is the equivalent of over 20 albums every year.

If I ever find 20+ albums in a year that I need, I will happily spend the money. I don’t think I would like to hear an ad everytime I listen to a cool song. Let’s take Flaming Lips’ Do You Realise? A beautiful song about life and death and the meaning of things. Do I want to receive a targeted message from a brand before I get ready to be thrilled by a song of this caliber? A classic like The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down by The Band? But first, here’s a message from our sponsor!

A few years ago the goalie for the Paraguyan national team said during the footie world cup that commercialism has broken through the taste barrier. So it has. Hallelujah!

Okay, never to shirk from chipping in, we added to this orgy of consumption our own free music idea. Mat and I and Tim Allen from Davenport Lyons, a firm of solicitors, decided that we should make a car that “comes with music”. Along the lines of the new Nokia phone that Comes With Music. But a whole car would be so much cooler. We’d get Jeremy Clarkson in on the act. He’d choose the best dad rock tunes of all time. We’d have the wicked bling version. The Magic FM version. The possibilities are endless. Just as long as it Comes With Music, glorious free music!

We’ve had one order already from someone who requested a 4×4 Cabriolet with Graceland in it. Now THAT is a record. Paul Simon, one of the greats.

A final point: in a digital world everyone can access the marketplace. Which is why there is a lot, A Lot, A LOT of very average if not poor music available commercially. As a comparison, consider this: I like playing squash. I play for a team in a county league. I’m fit and, to a degree, skillful. But I would never expect people to pay to watch me play. I’m just an enthusiast with a hugely enjoyable hobby.

Artistically and spiritually, it’s very rewarding on a personal level or as a group in a garage to make music. But making a living out of it is a whole ‘nother ball game. And piling on more and more music via the ad funded or “comes with music” or whatever other model ain’t even a poor substitute for learning to make great poetry like “the sun doesn’t go down, it’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning around.”

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=qvdma6tCnjw

Right, I’m off to vote for a mayor.

V.

This entry was posted on 01/05/2008 at 11:11 am and is filed under News At Zen. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.